Talking about grief is never easy. But some songs manage to do exactly that, turning loss into something tangible that can be held in your hands, confronted and perhaps even celebrated. A Daisy for You, John is one of them.
The third single from Oedipus & The Mama’s Boys was born out of a recent loss: the death of John Gates, Charlie’s grandfather and a key figure in his relationship with music. I found myself relating to that loss in a very personal way. When my own grandmother passed away, I experienced something similar to what this song describes: sadness slowly giving way to gratitude for the years we shared, and the certainty that some memories never really leave us.
The song stretches across almost seven minutes, and within that time it feels like three different pieces unfolding. It begins as atmospheric, ethereal post-punk, built around hypnotic riffs that layer on top of one another as the instruments gradually enter the frame: violin, saxophone, trumpet and synthesiser. The crescendo is slow and deliberate, almost cinematic, evoking the same sense of emotional grandeur found in Godspeed You! Black Emperor or Mogwai. Then the vocals erupt and everything shifts. The song takes on an almost physical intensity, with the trumpet taking centre stage and the vocal delivery becoming increasingly urgent. Eventually, the composition starts to dissolve once more, as guitars, horns and percussion collide in a whirlwind of noise and tension. At one point, a telephone rings. Then the line falls silent, like a call that will never be answered. It is one of the song’s most devastating moments, and it doesn’t need words to achieve that effect.
That same mixture of pain and affection runs through the lyrics. There is a repetitive quality to them, almost mantra-like, that recalls the emotional intensity of Maruja. Repetition is not used here as a stylistic device but as a way of holding on to something that is slipping away. As the voice repeats “I told you I don’t mind” over and over again, the song stops feeling like an elegy and becomes something closer to a declaration of unconditional love.
Gemima and Charlie, who wrote the song together, described it in their own words:
“Loving someone so much can be one of the most painful experiences for a person. It is inherent to what makes us human. The primal desire to stay as close to someone as possible, to seek comfort and warmth even when they are gone. The goodbye, forced or not, to someone you love is painful. That must be celebrated, regardless of how devastating it can be.”
Oedipus & The Mama’s Boys do not soften that pain or try to turn it into a lesson. They allow it to grow until it envelops everything. By the time the song reaches its conclusion, the meaning behind it becomes clear: some goodbyes hurt so much because, at their core, they are an immense expression of love.
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