As a long-time fan of Hole, I had been looking forward to reading Melissa Auf Der Maur’s memoir, Even the Good Girls Will Cry, since it was first announced late last year.
For those not familiar, Melissa occupied a unique position within the 90’s alternative scene, that all starts with a beer bottle being thrown at the head of Billy Corgan. From there, she opened for the Smashing Pumpkins with her first band, Tinker, before playing bass in Hole for five years, and then joining the Pumpkins on tour for a year after that.
ETGGWC drops us straight that scene, as the prologue places us backstage at Reading Festival in 1994 – just four months after the death of Kurt Cobain, and two months after the death of Kristen Pfaff – with 65,000 fans waiting outside. A 22-year-old Melissa is about to play live with the band for the first time. Courtney Love is stood, waiting to go onstage, wearing fishnet tights and no underwear, spray painting a pink heart on her Marshall amp. This will be her first public appearance since Kurt’s death. As Melissa writes:
“Courtney was not okay. She was grieving, she had a young daughter to raise alone, and she was on drugs. On top of that, she was the most famous widow of the most famous dead rock star in the world. She was a raging, rolling tornado.”
While the main focus of this book is the years 1991-2001 (described by Melissa as “the last analogue decade”), the early chapters do cover a lot of Melissa’s life growing up. I had no idea what a unique life she’s led so far. Naturally, these chapters are calmer than what comes later. The daughter of a bohemian, feminist mother, and a local journalist/politician father, Melissa grew into a music-loving teenager with a passion for photography, and was a photography student before being convinced to join Hole.
“I felt like an absurd grunge Cinderella, who’d found herself with VIP access to the ball.”
Melissa’s passion for music is palpable throughout the whole book, and the way she talks about falling in love with Smashing Pumpkins, and Nirvana’s Nevermind album, reminded me exactly how I felt myself, when I discovered Hole as a teenager.
Not only has Melissa lived a fascinating life, she is also a talented writer and storyteller. She paints such a vivid picture of the 90’s grunge scene, and never resorts to cheap glamourisation or shock value. With ETGGWC, it’s not just about the big moments – it’s about the messiness in between, beautifully captured moments that show the actual reality.