tiLLie is a genre-defying singer hailed by BBC Radio’s Jack Saunders as “a maverick artist born from the gates of Hell”. Self-categorising her music as “Nightmare Pop”, tiLLie effortlessly blends bright, ear-worm pop melodies over brooding, hard-hitting instrumentals rooted in nu metal and 90’s electronic sensibilities.
How would you describe your music?
One time I was in a session with my regular collaborators, and I think we called it ‘nightmare pop’. It’s obviously pop, there’s hooks and it’s catchy but there’s some hard hitting elements such as heavy guitars and double bass drum parts, juxtaposed to very pop melodies. At times nursery rhyme-esque melodies – I’m a big fan of those and I like to do a lot of weird voices.
I’d say there is a haunted children vibe that lies underneath it.
So yeah, it evolved as nightmare pop felt the most authentic, the music you would hear in nightmares.
So you have a new EP out called tiLLieverse, could you tell us a little about it such as your inspirations and if there is a message behind it?
Each song has a different message and a different character that goes with it that is representative of the message of the song. This EP addresses some heavy topics, it addresses; domestic violence, sexual assault and also the fall out that happens to the survivor of these things. I feel experiencing those types of traumas can sometimes bring out the monster within you, which is something that I have found really difficult, that loss of innocence within myself and the rage that I feel with the dark thoughts that I have about wanting to harm abusive men. Obviously I would never do that, I can’t even watch a movie where an animal gets hurt. I am probably the least violence person ever but we all have these thoughts. The abusers that have been in my life, I’ve thought ‘I wish they would just die’ and that’s hard to reckon with, I don’t want to feel that way and I don’t want to wish that upon anyone. There’s a couple of songs on the EP about trying to free myself of those feelings and to not let those experiences have that power over me and my perception of the world.
With domestic violence and sexual assault, there isn’t a lot of commentary, research or pop culture exploring the long term effects of it. Also the micro ways in which it affects every aspect of yourself. For example, the little interactions and small things that people say that they think are totally normal but can really trigger you. I actually think that Baby Reindeer was one of the few things that I have ever seen really covered that. So yeah the EP covers all those topics, but my way of processing difficult things sometimes is through humour. Satire is something that I use often in my music and I think with this EP, I created these characters as a dissociated safe way of processing these feelings and I wanted to create the tiLLieverse as a place I wish I lived. There are different characters that protect people from domestic abusers and sexual predators. Beth Amphetamine, is a superhero I invented that I wish could have protected me from my sexual assault when I was 14. When we were writing that song I was just asking ‘what if girls grew up with a poster of Beth Amphetamine on their wall, knowing there was a little red button that if they pressed, Beth would show up and protect them.’ So I was sort of healing my pain through the creation of this reality. It’s been odd with that song as a few clips have gone viral and found the wrong audience. Such as the predators that are really triggered by me calling them out. It’s kinda messed up because this song was supposed to be healing for me and others but when it came out and met that audience it was retriggering for me. Some of the comments were so aggressive and bullying and threatening, so it just proves that we have a long way to go but ultimately I triggered a nerve and I feel like that is what i want to do with my music, I don’t want to be middle of the road I want to share a message and hopefully evoke change somehow.
So I appreciate that this is difficult because all the songs on this EP are important but what is your favourite song from the EP at the moment, and why?
It definitely changes. Honestly, I think currently it’s the interludes. I’m not sure if that’s because they’re newer but the EP was finished and I wanted some interludes to tie it all together and make a full story arc. I think my two favourites at the moment are moving mountains and the outro I hope you’re ok. I feel like they weren’t in my mind as real songs or singles, I got to explore different song formats or genres that I wouldn’t do. I hope you’re OK is kind of an emo disney song, it’s a little cheesy but I love it, it makes me feel like I’m being hugged and it’s silly but cute. Then with moving mountains, I got to explore harpsichord and medieval sounds. That song lyrically meant a lot to me as it was depicting how all these little things can happen to make you a monster and I am defying that. Each stone I am forced to push past builds up to a giant mountain that I have overcome and those lyrics are personally where I feel I am at in this point in my life. In pain there is power and my mum used to say it’s not what happens to you it’s what you make of it. Through art in general I want to turn these painful moments in my life to healing, cathartic and productive because otherwise it just hurts too much if you just focus on how it hurt your life or derailed your soul.
So your music sounds deep and I’m excited about what. What about the live experience? What can UK based audiences expect from your life performances on this upcoming tour?
I am supporting Delilah Bon, which I think is a perfect fit. It’s going to be a little bit of a rage purge but within a safe space. My set is very high energy. I do some of my talky skits in it, so it’s funny and people are laughing and it’s a little silly, but I also share some of the stories and get vulnerable before a song. Overall, I think it’s going to be a cathartic and therapeutic event within a safe space of people who have probably gone through similar things. Between my fan base and Delilah’s it’s going to be an awesome community of accepting and loving people that need a safe space to be angry.
You are an independent artist. Was it choice to go down the independent path and if so why? Also what are the benefits and challenges associated with being an independent artist?
I wouldn’t say it was or it wasn’t a choice. Basically throughout my career I have been presented with some major label opportunities and been sent a few record deals but I am a libra through and through and I have yet to see a contract, besides, well I signed an indie deal on my last EP that was a great deal and thats why i signed it, other deals I’ve been presented with in the past, I was like this is fucking crazy. I think a lot of people’s deals are like that and they just go with it but I just don’t have that in me because I am like ‘this is inherently wrong and I am going to be trapped in this’. I’ve seen friends with deals and the label trying to control everything and then they’re not allowed to put out music for two years and they lose their momentum, spark and their love for the whole thing. I guess that was in the back of my mind so I just never did that.
The pros are having this creative control. That’s about it… just kidding. I do feel like at this point of my life I am feeling the barriers and the burn out more if, I’m being honest. I feel like maybe a lot of it has to do with my childhood, not feeling safe and protected so in my career I had the approach where I didnt want to ask for help for anything as I expected to be let down. Now I’ve healed that and I want to receive help. I’m like ‘I’m tired. Who wants to help me?’ There’s so many decisions to make, like the business and the planning for the long term. I really struggle with that and I hate emails so much. Barriers such as lack of funding and working out how are we going to afford things. Always having to negotiate with people by saying ‘what is the least you can do this for, that you would still feel comfortable’. I would love to pay people well, that would be nice. Also just the support you get with a big label and the bigger reach that they have. There are opportunities with Spotify where the big playlists are major label exclusives, so for me to get on the playlists I have is a miracle and I am grateful for that, but it’s a lot more challenging. There’s a lot more touring opportunities with the labels whereas I am just banging on the door shouting, ‘hey, let me in’. But you know, I always think of the Frank Sinatra song, ‘My way’ and I think that is the song of my life whereas at least every step of the way when a good thing happens I can say I did it my way.
tiLLie tour dates
Thursday 31 October 2024 – Cardiff: tiLLie on tour with Delilah Bon @ 7:00pm – Tickets
Friday 1 November 2024 – Southampton: tiLLie on tour with Delilah Bon @ 7:00pm – Tickets
Saturday 2 November 2024 – Brighton: tiLLie on tour with Delilah Bon – Sold out
Sunday 3 November 2024 – Norwich: tiLLie on tour with Delilah Bon – Sold out
Thursday 7 Novemver 2024 – Birmingham: tiLLie on tour with Delilah Bon – Join waiting list
Friday 8 November 2024 – Bristol: tiLLie on tour with Delilah Bon – Sold out
Saturday 9 November 2024 – London: tiLLie on tour with Delilah Bon – Sold out
Thursday 14 November 2024 – Manchester: tiLLie on tour with Delilah Bon – Join waiting list
Friday 15 November 2024 – Leeds: tiLLie on tour with Delilah Bon – Join waiting list
Saturday 16 November 2024 – Glasgow: tiLLie on tour with Delilah Bon – Sold out