All photos by Ste

It was my second Bearded Theory but my friends have been going for over a decade and have been telling me for years that I would love it. They were right. There has been a change of hands in the management recently and from the chat on social media, I think lots of people were fearful it might become too commercial. I think our fears can be eased, folks.

It was just gorgeous. The good weather helped of course but the changes I saw were either as good as, or a massive improvement on last year. The addition of the meadow stage was a bonus, this meant less queuing to get in the woodland but also added shade and another great stage for some incredible acts, for example The Beths and Loose Articles (who I’ll talking about later). The removal of the pirate ship, which was much contested prior to the festival starting, was controversial.  But we discovered it had been replaced with a giant bearded rave tree that seemed just as popular. Toilets were immaculate, beer charges affordable and the best line up I have seen at any festival this year.

From counting acts across the main stages over the weekend I conclude over a third of the main stages (Pallet, Meadow and Woodland) were women led bands. There were too many incredible bands playing this weekend for me to review every single one, so instead I’m going to shout out to all the ones I enjoyed and then write something about the ones I loved, Ready? GO! Alt Blk Era, Blackwater Country, Coach Party, Cosmic Ninja, Fraulein, The Go Team, Grace Petrie, Hagar the Womb, Heartworms, Holy Moly and the Crackers, I, Doris, Loose Articles, Lovely Eggs, Muddy Summers & the Dirty Field Whores, Panic Shack, Pretenders, The Beths. Seriously, how good is that?

Heartworms

Heartworms were the second band I saw, playing at the beautiful Woodland stage on Thursday evening. I have to fess up here, reading the notes I took whilst watching bands, it was clear I simply stopped taking notes during Heartworms set. I know this because I literally wrote, ‘oops stopped reviewing and started dancing’. Followed by a comment ‘ooh theremin’. To be fair, I think that is testament to how good this band are. I was trying so hard to be professional but I got lost in the guitar based synthy danciness and just really really enjoyed it. 

Doing a bit of research today, I came across an interview with the lead singer Jo Jo Orme in the NME. She said she “views Heartworms’ live shows as a chance to kick back against preconceived notions of smallness and fragility as a female musician”. I think this makes her a perfect pick for LOUD women. You smashed it Jo Jo and you have a new fan. 

Panic Shack

This Cardiff based band was first on at 12 pm on the Friday. ‘Wake up sh*t munchers!’ was screamed by Sarah (lead vocalist) from a massive stage and to a massive crowd. 

I’m already a fan, I was there with my Panic Shack t-shirt, thinking I was going to be unique. I was wrong, throughout the day I saw many a Panic Shack t-shirt, so either their fan base has grown exponentially since I saw them in February, or they gained loads of new fans at Bearded. Whatever happened, they deserve it. 

Honestly, after they blew me away in a tiny room back in Feb. I was worried that the performance might be impacted by upgrading to a larger stage. I was so wrong, this band is made for a massive stage. Hearing Sarah’s powerful voice, screaming what I think are amongst the best lyrics of any band, on the main stage PA was an unforgettable experience. This band is witty, fun, energising but also really musical. Wicked guitar riffs, best bass lines and gorgeous harmonies. There is nothing to not love about this band and they made my Bearded Theory. 

Even better, I bumped into them after and got to gush about how much I loved them. Sarah said she thinks it was the biggest stage they’d played and loved striding around on it. It showed Sarah, you all were a colossal presence on that massive stage. 

I, Doris

This band were always going to be tricky for me to review, for obvious reasons. I was so desperate for them to be great because I’m an honest person and would have hated to have to admit that it wasn’t for me. It’s all good though – I was fully satiated by this experience. 

My first realisation was that this band is naughtier than I expected. Second realisation, why shouldn’t a band consisting of women dressed as dinner ladies occasionally swear and sing honestly about bodily functions and womanly needs? The fact that I, a self proclaimed feminist, would expect anything else demonstrates that patriarchy have certainly done a number on me. So thanks I, Doris. Not only for the immaculately performed set with brilliantly played guitar, bass, drums and keytar (loving the keytar) but for the life lesson. A lesson I think every person needs to experience as part of their personal and social education. I’m a happier and better person for experiencing it and I can’t wait to see what else you accidentally teach me along the way. 

The Beths

Hailing from New Zealand, this band fronted by Elizabeth Stokes gave a note perfect performance. With songs such as ‘Expert in a Dying Field’ and ‘Future me hates me’. This band blends witty lyrics with beautiful harmonies and melodies to deliver nothing short of an all encompassing musical experience. 

Loose Articles

Working class Manchester band Loose Articles describe themselves as feminine and threatening on Insta – they are and I love it. As well as this, the interesting melodic sounds created by wacky chord constructions and a combination of angst punk shouts and lovely melodic harmonies makes them one of my favourite contemporary punk bands. 

Oh also, a minor shout out to the amazing Shrilankan curry place. I have been looking forward to your food since last year and you didn’t disappoint. 

To conclude

There’s so much more I want to say about all of the incredible bands at this festival but I’m told people rarely read beyond 500 words and I’m already over a 1000. So I’ll sign off and leave you with this; the Bearded Theory festival is what all festivals should strive to be and all the bands mentioned were incredible.