“I think nine times out of ten when I start writing something and I think I know what I’m writing about, it turns out that I’m writing about something completely different,”
says Matt O’Connor (they/them), frontperson of Tuxis Giant. “There is a process of getting out of your own way.”
Alongside O’Connor (vocals, guitar), Tuxis Giant is completed by Eleanor Elektra (she/her, lead guitar, backing vocals), Fenn Macon (they/them, bass), and James Steinberg (he/him, drums).
Speaking to LOUD WOMEN, O’Connor is thoughtful and reflective talking about how they created their new album You Won’t Remember This. Released August 15 on Worry Bead Records, the album chronicles everything from family grief to gender euphoria.
“I rarely sit down and think, ‘I want to have this light-dark thing,’” they say. “But when I feel a chord change that really works… I pursue that. It’s kind of an organic process.”
Something that feels special
The album was recorded in a snowy, creaky house in Vermont. “There were snow squalls and blizzards coming through,” O’Connor recalls. “Eleanor’s amp was buzzing the whole time because there was a grounding issue, but it kind of made it sound cool.”
The intimacy of the space seems to match the themes of the record. “There are a couple [songs] that are very personal,” they explain. “‘Heart Surgery’ is probably the most autobiographical song. It’s about my mom having open heart surgery. We were playing it, and I totally didn’t realise my mom was in the audience.”
When asked whether they ever feel exposed sharing so much onstage, O’Connor pauses. “It is definitely weird to share something so personal,” they admit. “But it’s also… I’ve probably gotten used to it.”
Photo by Brad Ziegler
Letting the band change the shape
O’Connor starts songs alone, playing guitar. “I want the bones to be solid,” they say. “Before I bring anything to the band, I want to be really, really happy with how it is as its own thing.”
But once it’s with the band, things open up. “There’s a lot of push and pull. It’s really been a steady process for me to learn how to relinquish control,” they laugh. “There are definitely times when I’m like, ‘This is totally how it should sound,’ and I’m right… and times I’m wrong. But most of the time, when I let the other band members in… it usually works out better than I would have done on my own.”
Their joy in that community is clear: “Recording this album – whenever I get together and record with the band, it’s the best weekend of the year.
Expression in writing
Much of You Won’t Remember This is emotionally raw – but that doesn’t mean it’s always literal. “There’s a lot of stuff I write that’s not autobiographical,” O’Connor clarifies. “Maybe snippets of my life, but I try… especially now, I’m trying to write more from different perspectives. Like, characters almost.”
That act of writing from imagined viewpoints has shifted since coming into their nonbinary and trans identity. “I think being outside the gender binary… has created more fluidity in the way I’m seeing different perspectives in my music,” they say. “Right now, I’m writing songs that are from the perspective of women. That’s not something I did in the past, when I was still identifying as a man.”
One track on the new album, “Silver Cup,” explores this directly. “It’s very much about being trans and feelings of dysphoria,” they explain. “In records before, there were songs where… especially listening back, I can feel myself sort of grappling with it.”
When asked if queerness has changed how they write, O’Connor reflects: “Music has been a way for me to communicate things I maybe am not able to articulate in my everyday life.”
Heartbeatsand journeys
“Heart Surgery” landed particularly strongly with listeners. “It kind of just happened, but as we were arranging it, I think we leaned into that subdued, sort of steady thing,” they say. “It wasn’t conscious, but maybe it’s like a heartbeat.”
They describe “Huey” as a journey, too: “There’ll be a moment that really locks into place, and then I’ll kind of pursue that.” Asked if they plan those emotional arcs, they shake their head. “I kind of start to know what works to make one of our songs. But I don’t consciously think about it.”
Titles often offer key context. On a song like “Family Funeral,” the lyrics are cryptic – until you read the name. “The title sort of locks it into place,” they say. “I treat every line as taking up valuable space.”
Inspiration in literature
Tuxis Giant’s songs don’t come from a single source – they’re shaped by what moves O’Connor across media and moments. “I feel like I read a ton,” they say. “Historically, a lot of poetry and short fiction. Lately, more like novels. I’ve been reading a lot of sci-fi and fantasy.”
They don’t necessarily write about what they read, but the artistic ambition transfers. “Maybe it’s just because I’m not a fiction writer, but when I read incredible writing that feels like such a high artistic standard… I want to do something that hits as hard as this and resonates as deeply.”
Their sense of lyrical precision owes a lot to that mindset. “I treat every line as taking up valuable space,” they say. Even titles carry weight – on a song like “Family Funeral,” “the lyrics are cryptic unless you know the title. The title sort of locks it into place.”
Non-musical influences are just as present. “The last album was inspired by a Miyazaki film,” they mention. “Those sorts of different artistic mediums that resonate with me deeply – I feel like I can usually find some inspiration in.”
And of course, there’s the DIY scene that raised them. “I feel like I was going to shows every day of the week. That was really inspiring.” These days, they still seek that connection where they can. “My partner and I just went and saw Friendship… they’re old friends of mine.”
Performance and catharsis
Live performance is its own thing. “It’s mostly cathartic,” they say. “Sometimes I get nervous, especially with a new song, and I’m like, ‘How did this land?’”
There’s a bit of improv in their mindset – literally. “In college, I did improv comedy,” they admit. “I kept bombing, and eventually I was like, okay, I’m going to bomb tonight – but I’m also going to get one laugh.” That idea stuck. “I’m gonna flub a chord, my voice is gonna crack… but there will be one thing that lands. That’s all I need.”
Their favorite moment in music? “When a song ends, and there’s that moment where everyone’s slightly holding their breath,” they say. “That silence – it’s kind of a space between things. I love that.”
“The only reason to dream”
There’s no illusion about the commercial grind. “The music industry sucks. And we’re not even really in it, and it sucks,” O’Connor laughs. “I book our tours, order our merch… it’s a lot of administrative stuff.”
But the reward is worth it. “It’s all in service of making art with your friends. Which is the only reason to dream.”
And if someone hears a Tuxis Giant song and feels something? That’s the point.
“I want people to feel something. Like… I feel something enough that I’m writing this song, and maybe that opens up something for them too.”
You Won’t Remember This out August 15 on Worry Bead Records.
